A strong word of caution: If frank language offends you, please do not continue reading. No, I’m not going to drop any ‘F’ bombs; plenty of those in the book, however, I do lay out a few brow lifters some may find uncomfortable, as I wish to provide the book’s ‘flavor’ in this review. Best advice: if you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.
I only picked up ‘Skinny Bitch’ to find out what the buzz was all about. It’s been on the New York Times bestseller list for over a year, has been translated into 20 languages, and the phenomenon has spawned an empire of ‘Bitchness’ for sure, with additional books, journals and workout DVDs.
I thought, ‘Great. Another boring diet book let loose on the world. Yawn.’ I was wrong. Dead wrong. Informative, shocking, and hilarious, this entertaining and hard-hitting book surprisingly ended up in my ‘top 10 books of all time’ list.
The profanity laced, tough love writing style of these two authors, a former Ford model agent and former model, is totally unexpected, but brilliantly employed to jolt us out of the hypnotic slumber and widespread ignorance the food industry and our food addictions have landed us.
The authors, Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin, begin by promising to deliver the truth about food to empower women to take charge; not via diet, but as a way of life, saying you should be able to ‘strut your skinny ass down the street like an episode of ‘Charlie’s Angels.’
Their call to action is simply this: ‘If you can’t take one more day of self-loathing, you’re ready to hear the truth.’ Holding nothing back, and with drill sergeant dexterity, they undeniably dish up the truth. You’ll wonder why you never had a clue about the garbage you put in your mouth and why you never bothered to read a label. Maybe a more appropriate title would have been Stupid Bitch. Finally! A bestseller that highlights the dangerous neurotoxin Aspartame (which you, and your children, probably consume widely), the horrors and marketing ploys of the billion dollar meat, sugar and dairy industries, while still managing to present research and data that doesn’t cause you to nod out. Readers are zapped with one liners such as: ‘When ever you see the words ‘fat-free’ or ‘low-fat,’ think ‘chemical shit storm.’
It takes balls to read Skinny Bitch, because so few of us want our indoctrinated myths debunked, our bubbles burst, or any light shone on the dark side of our beloved, cherished, better-than-sex obsession: food. But find the courage, it’s worth it.
You’ll be laughing out loud in the ‘Pooping and Don’t Be a Pussy’ chapters, and then be utterly incensed with ‘The Dead, Rotting, Decomposing Flesh Diet, The Dairy Disaster,’ and the ‘Have No Faith: Governmental Agencies Don’t Give a Shit About Your Health,’ chapters. And Freedman and Barnouin never relent: in ‘The Myths and Lies About Protein’ chapter, they start off with, ‘You have to have been blacked out on bourbon the past three chapters to not know now that it is a complete myth that we need massive amounts of protein.’
In the ‘Let’s Eat’ chapter, we’re given menus and lists and lists of brand names of manufacturers who produce healthy food alternatives to the poisons we ingest. Yes, alternative, satisfying, delicious, and sweet-tooth foods do exist. Simply head to the health food store or stroll down a different grocery aisle to refrain from piling General Mills and Kraft nonsense into your cart.
Ultimately, this book begs us to pull our heads out of the sand and stop rejecting information in order to continue to feed food addictions and behave irresponsibly towards our bodies and the planet. It inspires readers with a ‘you don’t have to give up’ just ‘replace’ philosophy, assuring us we can have our cake and eat it too. Food addiction recovery tips, recommended reading, cookbooks, and plenty of advice in kicking vices and cravings is given to readers as well.
I know first hand that the Skinny Bitch program works, because I am skinny, and I am a bitch. Seriously, I’ve been unknowingly following the lifestyle for the past 10 years, and the results are in: I am 50 years old and people think I look 35.
I have a high energy level and rarely get sick. In fact, if Freedman and Barnouin weren’t coming out with their fifth book, ‘Skinny Bastard’ in 2009, I would write that one. Instead, I’m writing one for the gay community, ‘Skinny Bioch.’
In the end, the authors confess that their attention-grabbing title is just a ploy, but I won’t give away what they really think about being skinny or being a bitch.
If you can’t take one more day of self-loathing, this is your chance to have the body and health you deserve. Read on bitches.
