‘Death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.’
~ Rabindranath Tagore
As I grow older, I find that my life experiences multiply in meaning. I appreciate special times with family and friends – the deep meaningful conversations guide me through tough times, and the lessons teach that laughter is essential to happiness. These moments proliferate on a daily basis.
Yet as I grow older, the extent of my losses increases as well. Loved ones vanquish too soon, friends’ lives are cut short, grandparents age too quickly. As these moments become more frequent, I am learning to fine-tune myself: to listen to and cherish the voices in my life, which will one day become echoes.
For this reason, I have adapted the Mexican rite of passage for the Dead: a day in which they honor the lives of those who have gone beyond our conscious state, ‘El Día de los Muertos’ (Day of the Dead). Celebrants believe that on the Day of the Dead, it is easier for the souls of the departed to visit the living.
Since I first learned of this honored tradition six years ago, I have celebrated it. On November 1, I light a candle by the photos of those I love. I may prepare a meal they loved while alive, or speak their name and set some flowers on my makeshift altar. Each year I tell myself that the next will be more grandiose; a real altar like the Mexicans have, I will bake ‘pan de los muertos’ (bread of the dead), confect sugar skulls, and prepare a colorful display to honor and call out to my ancestors, friends, and blessed deceased. But time and effort slip away from me and so I ease into the path of least resistance.
Many cultures throughout the world honor their dead in one way or another. It is a testament to lives lived: a declaration of recognition that their presence was felt. I propose each of us spend just a moment or two, or a whole day, remembering, sharing thoughts, and honoring those who have gone ashore.
This year I have the pictures ready (which are greater than last year’s), and the recipes for skulls and bread, directions for paper flowers, and lots of candles, but have yet to know what the future will bring to me on the Day of the Dead. So I wait, and I plan, and always remember to breathe.
~ Monica Caldari
