FLIP’S FRIENDS
Note from Flip’s Friends author Pete Kristian: I would like to thank all the readers who have followed Flip for almost 10 years. I was blown away by how many readers I heard from both in the paper and around town. Thank you so much for reading. We’ll be mixing it up with some guest columnists, starting with our cat Tobias. Hope you enjoy and remember to spay, neuter, and adopt!
My name is Tobias, and I will be helping out with Flip’s Friends. I’ve never written anything but I can make beautiful abstract art with the kitty litter around my litter box. When I get done with my business it’s like a sandstorm in the Sahara, only with cat litter. I won’t reveal my age here but I’ve been around the block a few times. I don’t see very well, but don’t feel bad for me. I can get a little aggressive sometimes, and I lost one of my eyes to a Rottweiler that didn’t like to play nice. I still like to wrestle with the occasional Siberian husky, and if you walk past me while I am lying on the couch I will swat at you. My favorite winter activity is lying underneath the wood-burning stove while there is a hot fire going. I can do this for hours. Eventually I decide to crawl out to drink more water than a thirsty camel. Yes, that is burnt cat hair you smell. In the summer I like to find sunny spots in the house where I soak up the rays and dream of hunting antelope on the African plain. I can’t hear very well so when I need some food I have to meow extra loud. I usually wait until everyone, including the baby, is asleep. Someone always gets up and lovingly dishes out some wet cat food. The folks in my house can get a little grumpy at three in the morning. Maybe it’s because my bowl is usually full of dry food, but really, who likes dry cat food? It tastes like sawdust. I bet sawdust is one of the main ingredients on the package. I can’t read but I bet it’s at least 50 percent sawdust. I hardly touch the stuff. They are lucky I eat that wet canned food. I should be eating tuna. Line caught, wild tuna.
I have chosen to be a part of this column because I feel cats have been grossly underrepresented in the mainstream media. Flip and I were roommates, and I am happy to help out. But I’ll warn you — if you are looking for more dog propaganda you have come to the wrong place. I’ll be putting my own spin on things. I am tired of having my voice drowned out by a bunch of fat, spoiled, country club dogs. We cats are the 99 percent, toiling in obscurity while the dogs take all the credit. This month I am occupying Flip’s Friends. We are tired of being spayed, neutered, and told we have to stay inside. Our meows are not heard behind closed doors. We can only watch as palatial dog parks are built across the country, with what I can only assume is cat tax dollars! Our people bring home dog beds, go for dog walks, and save up money for fancy dog schools. If these dogs are so great, why do they have to go to special schools for ‘training’? Training for what? Where are the cat schools? Cat beds? Cat walks? All we seem to get are cat naps.
The first stage in my plan was to camp out in front of the Town of Truckee headquarters and demand sushi-grade tuna and cat beds for all. I was tipped off that the town’s animal services department also works in that building. I wasn’t quite ready to be arrested for the cause, and they would just take me to the shelter anyway, so we decided to drive over instead.
When I arrived at the shelter (once I got past the barking dogs outside) I met Sprocket. Sprocket is a 4-year-old orange tabby cat. Sprocket was occupying a nice room with a window all by himself. Sprocket apparently gets along great with people and dogs but isn’t too fond of other cats. We got along fine. Sprocket is very friendly with people and loves to lounge in a warm lap. He also likes wild, line-caught tuna but when it comes down to it he’s not picky. I tried to get Sprocket fired up about the occupy movement. He has that long-haired look that would fit right in. He claimed to not follow politics. Sprocket did issue one demand: He would like to occupy a new home.
For more info on Sprocket, visit hstt.org.
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