Dear World,
I just finished watching an episode of Oprah that dealt with bullying in our schools. I think the Middle School should order a copy of this Oprah episode and show it at an assembly of the students and faculty at the beginning, middle, and end of every school year. I encourage every parent to go to Oprah.com, search for this segment and watch it.
Recently, three different middle school boys, from different backgrounds/ethnicities/ towns across America hung themselves after being bullied by their peers for a couple of years in middle school. Mothers of two of the boys appeared on Oprah to talk about what lead up to this terrible tragedy, and the father of the third boy appeared via SKYPE. Their stories were eerily similar and, sadly, very similar to what happened to my son here in Truckee at the middle school and high school. The good news is that my son survived his suicide attempt.
Like the other boys profiled in the Oprah segment, my son was intelligent, happy, and sensitive and had lots of friends in elementary school. When he hit middle school, the bullying began. He would come home in tears saying that he was being called ‘gay’ and ‘a fag’ and he was afraid of getting beat up and how he was being told it was ‘un-cool’ to be smart and different. Like the other boys profiled, he started hating school and wanted to be home-schooled. Like the parents profiled, we told him that these were just words and to ignore the kids bullying him. The school did nothing about it, even though I talked to his counselor, his teachers, and to the middle school principal.
According to the psychologist and the other expert on the show, many parents see this type of behavior as a typical challenge of growing up and tell their kids to ‘just ignore it.’ According to the experts in this field, this does not work! The children that are being bullied need to be empowered with the proper body language, tone of command, and to know that they can say, NO, NO MORE BULLYING as they stand up to their tormentors. All of these young men who killed themselves, and my son, slipped into a depression and felt they could not cope with the abusive bullies any longer. It needs to stop now before more young kids kill themselves. Children need to be educated about how their mean words seriously hurt their peers and can actually cause a death. Schools need to be more vigilant. Most bullies wait until they are out of earshot of the teachers and other staff before they begin their abuse! Listen more attentively in the hallways, by the lockers, in the gym, in the lunchroom, on the bus, etc. Parents need to become more involved even when your child tells you NOT to get involved as it will ‘make things worse.’
After watching this segment of Oprah, I want to say this to the ‘bystander’ kids who observe the bullying, but do nothing about it: You are just as culpable as the bullies! Instead of doing nothing (or worse, egging on the bullies), how about sticking up for the child that is being bullied?
Since bullying is evidently becoming more and more prevalent in our schools, it is time to put a stop to it and not just pay lip service to this abusive behavior. Perhaps, just perhaps, it will save the life of one child.
~ Anonymous
Truckee, Calif.
