So you’re working the info phone line at Alpine Meadows in early January. An unassuming, pleasant-sounding voice rings in and you inquire how you can help him. The man asks some general questions: ‘How much are lift tickets?’ ‘Where’s a good place to stay?’ Then comes the zinger: ‘Is it going to snow the weekend of April 15?’
Exsqueeze me?
Oh yes, you gotta love the questions that leave us shaking our heads, wondering what exactly was in that person’s morning coffee. This brief collection of dumb, er, uninformed questions commemorate these moments and hopefully allows us to react in humor the next time we come across one. Enjoy!
Names of readers who submitted these stories have been omitted to protect the innocent, but all situations are real, unless otherwise noted. Send in the real zingers you’ve experienced to annual@moonshineink.com. Remember summertime fun — the Tahoe Summer Annual will be published in August.
Where am I?
Real question asked in the lift line at the Shirley Lake chair at Squaw Valley, winter 2010.
Question: How do we get to the top of Roundhouse?
Response: Um, you have a problem. Roundhouse chair is at Alpine Meadows.
Q: So?
R: You’re at Squaw Valley.
Q: I don’t understand.
R: You’re at a different resort.
Q: So, how do we get to the top of Roundhouse?
R: Take this chair up and then ski down the mountain. Go to your car. Drive out on Squaw Valley Road until you hit Hwy. 89. Make a right turn. When you get to Alpine Meadows Road, make another right turn. Park your car. Go to the ticket booth, buy a ticket, and get a map.
Q: So it’s close?
R: Yeah. You’re practically there . . .
Asked here and there
‘Do I really need chains up there?’
‘How much do the free lessons cost?’
‘How in the world do you LIVE here?’
Question: What is the weather like?
Response: It’s snowing on the mountain.
Q: Well, is it cold?
Powdy partner
Real question asked at a Squaw Valley hotel, winter 2011
Question: Umm … what time do the lifts open?
Response: 9 a.m.
Q: What are people doing lined up outside, its only 7? (Gesturing toward the KT lift line)
R: Well ma’am, it’s a powder day. When it snows a lot, people line up early for fresh ski lines.
(long pause)
Q:But what’s a powder day?
Turn signal purgatory
And then there was the February 2011 press release from the Town of Truckee, entitled, ‘Announcing the Town’s Public Collection of Turn Signals.’ Residents were informed they could now drop off their underused car turn signals at the town corporation yard. Said Town Manager Tony Lashbrook, ‘We might as well collect them as a public service, since no one is using them anyway.’
(This gem — which did not actually happen — was inspired by the late, great community man and prankster, Matt Rusanoff.)
