THE DEEP END
If you go to my Facebook page, you’ll see that I’m a fan of many different groups and businesses. There’s the obvious ones from living in Tahoe: Skiing Magazine, Squaw Valley USA, and, of course, Moonshine Ink. I’m also a fan of local businesses owned by friends — Court Leve Photography, Sugar Pine Cakery — and ones that I like to frequent, like Tahoe Yoga Institute.
But recently, I became a fan of the very best Facebook page of all — Americans Against the Tea Party.
Out of the blue, a post from the AATP appeared on my newsfeed one day a few weeks ago. ‘Rejoice!’ I thought. ‘Finally, people are organizing against the Tea Party.’ Well, I’m not sure if you can call it an organization, but at least it’s a start.
The AATP describes itself as ‘a group committed to exposing the Tea Party’s lies, violence, racism, ignorance, intolerance, bigotry, and corporatist fascist efforts to subvert our democracy.’ I couldn’t have said it better myself. With 81,421 fans — wait, 81,422! — the group is not quite at the level of the Tea Party Patriots, whose Facebook page has 848,157 fans. OK, so the Tea Party Patriots are about 10 times more popular than the AATP, but the Tea Party has been around a lot longer, since 2009, to be exact. The AATP was only founded last year. I’m sure in another year the AATP will catch up to the Tea Party, capturing the rapt attention of the national media and conservative news channels like Fox, right? Humor me, please.
But the main thing that bothers me about the Tea Party is that it seems to be all about its opposition to things — against rights of gay people to marry, against raising taxes, against rights of illegal immigrants. In this manner, so too is the AATP, which was formed specifically to counter the rise of the Tea Party. It’s kind of the same reason I can’t handle watching Bill Maher; I agree with his liberal politics but find him too negative and critical. So why not create a more positive organization that is for specific policies rather than existing only to oppose, a group that lifts people’s spirits rather than inspiring hatred and intolerance?
I couldn’t find such an organization on Google, although I entered ‘happy political group’ in the search bar. So I thought, why not start my own? I decided the best place to begin would be with a name, something that instantly told people what we stood for. I thought, what is the exact, polar opposite of a tea party? If a tea party conjures up images of stuffy old ladies sipping warm liquid out of fine china with their pinky fingers up in the air and lace doilies on the table, then a keg party is all about young kids letting loose and getting wild around a large aluminum barrel filled with cold brewskis. Yes, you heard me straight.
I hereby introduce the Kegger Party.
I mean, what says inclusivity, tolerance, intelligence, rational thought, pragmatism — everything that is the opposite of what the Tea Partiers desire — than a kegger? Like any high school or college keg party (not like I ever went to any of those), we accept anyone with a red plastic cup. I know what you are thinking. Intelligence and rational thought are not exactly synonymous with a bunch of underage kids getting smashed out of their minds. But hey, it took those kids planning, foresight, and street smarts to somehow buy the beer, get a fake ID, or convince someone over the age of 21 to do it for them — all characteristics that are sorely missing in Tea Partiers, who seem to have no more insight into the future (case in point: theirrefusal to acknowledge global warming) than the Dodo bird. And we all know what happened to that animal.
So come on, what are you waiting for? Become a member of the Kegger Party today! We will be sure to have the best rallies and demonstrations of any political group out there with lots of free beer, good music, and keg stands. Bring your open mind, belief in science (after all, it’s chemistry that governs the laws of fermentation), belief in separation of church and state, and a willingness to negotiate and compromise. We welcome people of any color, sexual orientation, and religious beliefs, even Evangelical Christians. There won’t be any prayer rallies or people holding signs with nasty epithets about our president. All there will be is a group of people gathering around a keg, drinking beer, and trying to put some sanity back into our political process.
No matter what you’re drinking, we can all cheers to that.
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