A grandfatherly man sat in the circle of moms and nannies on the floor, his twin toddlers shyly tucked into the corners of his shape, ready for 45 minutes of Music Together, the weekly program I lead for young children and their caregivers. If I hadn’t earlier been introduced to David by his younger wife, I would have embarrassingly assumed he was the grandfather or even the great-grandfather. Perched on his hip with his legs splayed out like a wizened tree no longer able to bend with the wind, his smile transformed him into a sprite new sapling, reflecting the girls’ bountiful youth. 
Throughout the class, I could see that David was a great Music Together dad. He was playing instruments, dancing, and corralling the girls back to the activities in the circle when they meandered away.
When it finally came time for the lullaby, David lay down on his back in the darkened room. The girls climbed up and over him, until settling in the folds and rises of his body. I sang “Tum Balalaika,” an old Yiddish folksong in a minor key and three-quarter waltz. Like many lullabies, it is at once sweet and sorrowful. For me, it conjures an image of a ballerina dancing under the canopy of an ancient forest.
As I sang, I looked out to the families, each one grouped in a mountain of intertwined legs and arms, some parents gently rubbing a back or rocking side to side. I felt my breath deepen and my body relax. The truth is that lullabies offer as much peace to me as to the class. By the end of the song, the room was completely silent. I said, “Let’s breathe in all that peace we just created,” leading the class in a deep, intentional breath. We exhaled to a gentle strum of the home chord, B minor, allowing the spell of the lullaby to settle gently upon us.
As the class got up, David came over to me with tears in his eyes.
“My grandmother sang me that song as we were escaping Nazi Germany when I was 5 years old,” he said. “I hadn’t remembered that was the song until I just heard you sing it now.” He reached for my hand and said, “Thank you.”
I felt rocked, with the weight of his words on my heart. This song had been a key to a door that had been closed to him for so many years. It brought back the power and love of his grandmother and her ability to soothe him during an otherwise traumatic event. I was so grateful he shared this profound moment with me. When I sing that lullaby now, I remember David, his young daughters, and his grandmother, all experiencing that song in their own meaningful way.
The earliest transcribed lullabies were etched in Babylonian clay in 2000 B.C., written in Hebrew, and found in modern day Iraq. One song was about a baby who woke the world with her crying and the wrath of God that came consequently. Many lullabies since then have followed in a similar dark theme. The British lullaby about a baby who will fall from a tree, cradle and all, is so familiar and common we don’t bat an eye while singing about this tragedy to our youngest listeners. The lullaby “You are My Sunshine”, which may not be as tragic as falling to a potential death, sings notes of loss and sadness: The other night dear, while I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms. When I awoke dear, I was mistaken. And I hung my head and I cried.
Lullabies exist in every culture of the world. Their universality is something that connects us in a human experience with all people around the globe. The gentle rocking of a baby along with the calming voice of a parent is unmistakable. A caregiver’s sweet lilting voice singing to a child brings us peace as it conjures our own experiences with these magical songs. We can try on the lullabies of other cultures, singing the gentle sounds from Africa to Norway to our young ones. These songs remind us that we all start from a place of craving sound, touch, and peace from the ones we love the most.
Throughout my time as a Music Together teacher and as a parent, I have found that the lullaby is one of the most meaningful and beneficial songs to sing to a child. Its benefits go far beyond lulling a child to sleep. A parent’s voice soothes the child like no other. Children find peace and comfort in hearing their most cherished voice sing them to a place of peaceful rest.
Snuggling a baby can release the hormone oxytocin, which can create a sense of well-being, safety, and ease, creating a powerful bond between parent and child. The vibrations in the body from singing enhance the comfort of holding a baby close, and combined with the intimacy regulate the heartbeat and breathing and offers emotional support as young children learn how to self-soothe.
Years ago, as a brand-new mother, I was timid to start singing to my baby. Do people really do this or is it a cliché? I didn’t know. I still couldn’t believe they let me leave the hospital with this tiny person. I sang softly, holding my baby girl, on my back deck under the warm September night sky. I sang “Didn’t Leave Nobody but the Baby” by Gillian Welch, Emmylou Harris, and Alison Kraus. Immediately, it felt good and right. I felt rooted in a deep memory of my own experience as a child being sung to.
More than anything, I felt connected to this tiny but immensely powerful new soul that was looking at me with brand-new eyes. We were developing an understanding that my voice was there to comfort her, and as my body relaxed, I realized that singing this lullaby was as much for me as it was for her. The fact was, I hadn’t slept for more than an hour at a time for the past two days, I was very sore from the birth, and I had completely forgotten anything about myself or my previous life. I needed a lullaby, too.
As the years passed, singing lullabies with my kids remained one of my favorite times of the day. After the marathon of dinner, baths, and books, it always felt good to snuggle close. There was nothing left to do but just allow little conversations and giggles to unfold into the comfort of a song. Singing always came naturally as our thoughts began to settle.
As my children grew, their song requests changed. There was a time when my daughter would request the national anthem. I accepted the challenge and sang my best rendition, often ending in fits of laughter as I attempted a quiet version of the dramatic crescendos toward the end. Releasing a songful laugh in bed next to her was the best medicine at the end of a long day.
Now, from this standpoint of a parent of teenagers and music teacher of all ages, I view lullabies as our heritage and our children’s birthright. These sweet soothing songs are passed down orally from parent to child, generation after generation. You don’t need training or a “good” voice. All you need is a song and a sincere desire to find peace. These songs are a gift that have persisted for thousands of years, because their benefits are profound and plentiful. The power of a lullaby goes beyond lulling a restless child to sleep; its love is stored in our souls forever.
~ Brooke Chabot is the owner/director of Truckee Tahoe Music Together, a music and movement education program for young children. She teaches guitar, ukulele, and voice at her home studio, and piano at Little Bird Music. She performs with the Truckee-based Rubicon Gold and BC & the Remedy.
